Whose Nonsense is it Anyway?

Step into the brilliantly chaotic mind of an unnamed narrator who has lost control of a magical book of stories. Every time a character is introduced, the narrator has to weave together completely nonsensical plot points to keep the characters from falling apart! Interact with flamboyant characters like a melodramatic pigeon detective, a flamboyant frog prince planning a 'kissing party', and a diva cactus having a breakdown. Your choices will determine the fate of these outlandish characters as they navigate ridiculous quests in a world where logic has taken a vacation. Can you craft a coherent narrative from the madness?