In this hilarious and zany interactive text-based game, players take on the role of a clueless lumberjack named Birch who stumbles into a bizarre forest filled with eccentric tree folk and sentient logs. When a peculiar phenomenon causes the logs of the forest to mysteriously vanish, Birch finds himself embroiled in a chaotic investigation to determine the owners of the logs as they manifest unexpected, comical personalities. Will he uncover the truth behind the log-jacking, or will he get swept away by the river of absurdity? Players navigate through eccentric dialogues, choose their allies among the quirky characters, and face off against laugh-out-loud challenges, all while piecing together a story that balances humor with mystery.